alex in wanderlust/ wanderlust a la valls

tecnologias de papel y revistas

2011-10-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

mixed media: sense from the bombardment of the relatively relevant relative. images of the vague and distorted.
an aesthetic ode from me to my miami:

travelers of bliss

to fancy anew

dreams of cuba

only disco snow

dulce caribe

passport to el pasado

foreign bathe

lifestyle luck

dibujar

2011-10-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

Estoy cansado de inglés...

prefiero dibujar mis pensamientos...

from order of birth:
March 2010- May 2011

"a 'non-western'"

"for fun friends"

"destruction construction"

"for a bird's eye"

"structure"

"orientalism"

"untitled tongue"

"old shool power new school science"

"time crisis"

a modest manifesto for the modern

2010-05-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

This is a revision of a past essay featured on this blog- Consider Your Future, modeled after the style of David Foster Wallace, initially written for a literature class. However, now separated into small chapters, taking on a more book-like form, this revision was spawned after reading Saul D. Alinksy's Rules for Radicals. I do not entirely agree with his strategy nor can confirm his proper appropriation of Machiavellian tactics, but I do enjoy his vision for change and appreciate his pragmatic approach to revolution... Enjoy my comrades.

A Call to Action: by Alex Valls

To My People

Prologue:
Don't run away. Yee have little faith. People are just people. One person does not exist alone.

Editors Note: This is to be read in its entirety.

Money Chapter: Ethical Disaster

I am currently watching television at 2:08 AM on a Thursday night, slothfully reducing myself to that cheap infomercial crowd, which goes well with my Tostitos and “con queso” breath. But I have not yet even bothered to change the channel because, well because the writer of Chicken Soup for the Soul is promoting his compadre's book: Advertising Profits From Home by Anthony Morrison, followed by The Hidden Millionaire, “how your inner wealth can become out outer wealth.”
The writer of Chicken Soup for the Soul is promoting Anthony Morrison. Thats really nice, thank you. I will now set my Chicken Soup for Teenagers on fire, and render my ideology to my new found goals and aspirations of one simple idea that is quick, get rich! Because as we all know, a diamond is forever. But how will I make this money? I refuse to buy into some self-proclaimed millionaire's philosophy, so Il just fabricate my own. First, I will pawn my soul for money in the same shop Bernie Madoff sold his. I probably wont get as much money for it as I will in other pawn shops, but I am willing to cheapen my worth knowing I got the same money from the same place as Madoff himself. I wont invest it in some pyramid ponzi scheme, which at first seems brilliant. Everyone keeps getting richer, does it even matter where the money is coming from? No. As the cheeky writer that I am (my Facebook statuses and tweets r off da chain yo), I will write my own book on the foreseen successes of that book, entitled How to Get Rich Quick by Writing a Book on How to Get Rich Quick . After selling myself to nothingness and making a profit on a book about nothingness, I may feel empty. But because I am now quickly rich, I will show I am quickly rich and I will feel quickly rich. I will buy whatever I want and satisfaction oh satisfaction will fill my soul with designer bags and wrinkle removing ointments. I do not feel too good. I should write another book about investing your new wealth to the reinvestment of more wealth- perhaps it will become a Wall Street staple and pre-requisite. This time I will divide it into three easy steps in a DVD. Therefore all socially self-chosen illiterate and Americans also have a chance of becoming wealthy. As Americans, they too deserve to be rich. I see how Rosetta Stone has marketed itself, thus naturally the second book, which relies on the accoutrement of the first book, will be twice the price for the consumer. And as for me, four times the profit, due to a cheaper publisher who outsources their labour from India and paper and DVD from China.
“Money please, money please, soul please” -The New Radicals. But, umm whoops, I just sold my soul for the money, now what? Conveniently, I have now become a slave to the money... then I will die, as predicted by The Verve. But my death depends on the type of health insurance coverage I have, of course. If all else fails, do you think Medicaid and Obama's new health plan will cover idiocy and priorities lost-syndrome? I mean I think that was the point of it, right?

Is this where America is heading? Money hungry citizens?

Money Chapter Jr: Every Chapter is a Money Chapter

I was hanging out with my neighbor and his friends who are Boston College graduates, Boston University graduates or wannabe yuppies. One friend was shamefully speaking of his sister's college studies and life endeavors thereafter. The way these guys laughed you would think she had chosen to be a stripper. But no, she was studying the respected field of photojournalism. They thought 'what a waste of time, there is no money in that.' Then I realized, to them, becoming a stripper, despite the drop in dignity, is return on profit wise, a good solid future. I am not referring to the low class, ill- informed, ill-treated, ill- feed, or ill-conceived Americans. These guys are, if not already successful, going to be successful. Finance, Business, Hospital Management, Hotel Management, (and all these other majors synonymous to money management) will lead them to their bright futures illuminated by dollar signs and trophy wives they are yet to meet, because why would any women want them now- all moneyless? I sat there, smoking their pot, listening, observing and thinking 'what did your parents teach you?' However, I know the answer. They have been taught the thought of money and money is success. Their mindset of viewing life in terms of profit is better referred to by Karl Marx in The Communist Manifesto, as “egoistic calculation.”
These guys are a vehicle to which consumerism and coerced capitalism breeds off. Yet, they are the same guys who will be in charge of the breeding. In other words, they are vehicles maneuvering vehicles. Very similar to a tow boat pulling in a freight ship. Crap, those freight ships are significantly larger, and the oil spillage is detrimental to our environment. I can talk to them, tell them to read Stuart Ewen's All Consuming Images, or underlay the argument of the book subtlety making them feel like fools who've been fooled. But they are far too individualistic to care about the larger issue of consumerism, modern industry, the exploitation of workers world-wide, the exploitation of consumers nation-wide, and the meaningless value in the value of money. Plus, why would they read that when they can be reading my get rich quick book (order now and get a second “recession proof” copy free!) According to Ewen, their lifestyle is a product of their society which creates “American nervousness.” The expectations and pressures to succeed haunts their delicious dreams as opportunity surrounds them in America. Their indifference to the meaning of the system they intend to advance in is narcissistically, not surprising. They yield the similar attitude of those who hear about Darfur, and think “What does that have to do with me?” To their point, nothing really, besides the fact that we are all human beings and share this world together. What if I said we were all born in the image of God, and we are all brothers and sisters regardless of differences? Well, these post modern day individualist know that religion is for the poor and dying.

If capitalism continues to be our leader, then I guess it wont matter that my Chicken Soup for the Soul has now been turned to ashes. I'm depressed thinking about the outcomes of a society empowered by that frame of thought, oh wait a minute, we are the living outcome of a society empowered by that frame of thought. And the obscene displacement of money and entangled loss of values seems to perpetuate amongst the collectively uncollective majority. The United States has made their capita by individualistic perseverance. I think therefore I am... able to make money! The United States welcomes all those who are willing to put aside their family, friends and passions and replace it with materialism and the freedom to attain that materialism. And then, it wont matter what our friends and family think of us, because then we will be rich and everyone will be happy. CNN informant and contributing writer of Newsweek, Fareed Zakaria firmly believes America's current “downfall” has more to due with the downfall of ethics and moral code. Which subsequently, leads to the rise of dirty business and dirty business with dirty politicians who then shake hands with dirty communist. Well perhaps he did not verbalize those thoughts as such, because good politicians also shake hands with dirty communist. Nevertheless, I respect the field of politics, but I cannot say I wholly believe in it. I am depressed thinking about the outcomes of a world empowered by politicians with personal agendas, oh wait a minute, we are the outcome of a world empowered by politicians with personal agendas. Of which, is coerced by the personal attainment of power through business for politics and politics for business. I do not want to believe that because America has economically collapsed, everything else has collapsed as well.
I would like to believe we live in a country with a secular government from the religion of money we seem to all follow. However, everything I have ever truly believed has proven to be a social construct put in place to keep us submissively active and tolerable citizens. I guess that is fair? Perhaps to those who acknowledge the potential control our government and big business have in our lives and decision making, or lack there of. For example, not everyone is quick to realize the brainwashing implications that exist in believing in Santa Clause. When I found out about Santa Clause, at the embarrassing age of 8, I said to myself, 'well then there is no way Jesus exist either.' And just like that, both my belief in Santa as the children's leading authority of consumerism, brought to this earth by Jesus as the leading authority of goodness, to impose and then reward my socially standard idea of goodness in a wrapped box of mass produced toys, made especially for me by several young and severely oppressed strangers with the help of massive machines causing massive pollution, was over. Eleven years later I find myself awkwardly standing out amongst a crowd of Business students, but seemingly getting by in designer clothes handed down to me by both older and younger siblings. These educated men and I come from similar backgrounds. We have wealthy parents, we received higher education, we have access to connections to have access to more connections we did not have access to before. Yet, we are very different. What have I been doing that has made me this way, or better yet, what have they been exposed to? Within this “norm,” there is diversity. I choose to be that diversity. And there lies my mindful freedom. But for those who are too naïve or apathetic to recognize their predetermined attitudes from the organization and stratification of society, it becomes their entrapment.
These “business” guys, they are not cool. They are not creating, they are not molding. If the world was left to them we would all become China, and would have to rely on the power of outsourcing technologies to find a new America and sell our 'made in earth' goods to those no name creatures from Mars. But we have to keep our labour mad cheap because otherwise they'll start trading with Jupiter, who word in the milky way has it- is not even a real planet anymore, consequently making their material incredibly inexpensive and practically impossible to compete against.

Awareness Today Chapter: Warning, This Chapter May Cause Awareness.

If anything can be taken from the previous chapter's anecdote is that our society is becoming increasingly individualistic, unrealistic and uncaring. Are we overexposed to the harsh realities of the world outside from us, rendering us hopeless in our struggle to change it? Are we desensitized? We choose to live blissfully indulgent on our own pleasures because we think, 'why waste my entire existence trying to save someone else?' I cannot speak for the majority in saying they think this way. But I do know that I have thought this way. I think this way every time I feel lazy. It is true, our world is shaped by our own personal world. However, in our world today with globalization, modern technology and a plethora of forums for communication connecting one corner of the earth to another remote and desolate corner, we no longer lead a closed and private existence.
This global community has become our community. It is very frightening. Now the idea of exploitation for our own satisfaction is not acceptable. Now we can see that exploitation had a face all along and to continue contributing to the scrutiny of that sad face, is just wrong. Wrong, remember wrong? It is easy to ignore the problems of Iran, particularly because external media is not allowed coverage of the state, but social networking and technology does not allow for that kind of ignorance. Remember Neda? I do, CNN made a hero out of her. Her death by protesting for her rights was captured by a video camera then uploaded and shared world-wide through Facebook. Americans are not ready for this. As a nation, we can barely bother to acknowledge the violence Chicago's urban youth faces on a day to day basis. We cannot comprehend the struggles of border crossing Mexicans, nor wholly understand the horrors of mafia traps their drug run country faces that leads them to flee their homes for what is known and shown of America. America cannot understand the placed embargo on their ignored and neighboring country, Cuba, to the current partially lifted embargo of Cuba. In case anybody cares to visit a destroyed and communist Cuba, some of us can now fly there directly! And for the most part, our stance on Canada is a laughing joke. Umm yeah guys, jokes on us now a days. The boundaries of our life are ever expanding. But it seems to me that our mental capacity to care to understand or even notice, is still self-limited. Aside from the appropriation of these cultures for their aesthetic value, the significance of the cultures and the extended world surrounding us goes unnoticed. If we all chose to open ourselves to the world around us it might lead us to be flabbergasted from a mental displacement that is puzzling and depressing.

Remote Control Chapter: Change my Channel

I would be generous in giving most Americans the benefit of the doubt to even have considered the option of making the decision to be ignorant. We have been breeding ignoramuses for a while now. And research can attest to this, as ratings for reality television that stimulate our minds solely on shock value relying on disgusting and unnecessary circumstances that are better off left to be photographed by David Lachapelle, are on the rise. What does our television watching say about ourselves? Is it irrelevant or is it effecting us? Well there is that obsession with celebrities, materialism, beauty, transformation, fame, and neomania (to fetish the new) all giving into the aforementioned problem of consumerism- which can also be referred to by machine-like capitalistic warriors as the cure to overproduction; the cure to a running industrial society. Nevertheless, consumerism has taken a low path. How pathetic are we as a nation to sell more tabloids than newspapers.
Our culture is increasingly becoming obsessed with superficiality. Superficiality of our materialism results in superficiality of ourselves. Our hair, our nose, our breasts, our skin, our muscles are even superficial. Because really, why else would I do 500 sit-ups before bed every night, if not for my banging six pack? We are all victims of self-objectification. In our society we believe we are self-made. This lends ourselves to the idea of reformation. The reinvention of me. If celebrities can re-invent themselves, then I can too. This crowd is another vehicle of society. This crowd feeds off the media it intakes and then regurgitates it, giving back a bastardized version of the bastardized reality they see. Obsessed as they are, some are aware of the frivolities of their devote following, while others are blindly submissive to its meaningless cycle. I understand that there is low culture, but this culture is not just tasteless, it is unhealthy and absurd. These people are not cool. These people are neither positively changing or reprioritizing what they value with any moral substance. If the future relied on them, we would all be guest on MTV's “I Want a Famous Face.”
As citizens of a society comprised of far more than just celebrities and brainless distractions, a higher awareness of those other things is expected.

Education Reform Chapter: Edukashon Rephorm

CNN informant on US education was recently on Anderson Cooper 360 very seriously addressing the issue of education in the urban cities. The high degree of illiteracy and the lack of verbal skills to communicate effectively is serious cause for concern. Something must to be done. How is it that such an essential skill and part of living in a modern and wealthy country, having access to free public education, results in the staggering statistic of these urban city kids? And then they wonder why the violence breeds. Very differently from our business graduates, their future is grim. They are neither vehicles nor leaders of society. Their oppression and lifestyle is a result of a societal flaw, neither directly intended nor directly apprehended. They're influenced by perverse notions of happiness idolizing ideas of American success that lack any substantial value. Hey politicians, hey parents, hey educators, this is not enough. If the rest of our country were to be as neglected as them, chaos resulting from violence and poverty would be the inevitable demise of our nation. Education reform is necessary.

Minority Chapter: Hola, yo soy un force to be reckoned with.
Lets consider the largest minority, the increasing Hispanics comprising 15% of the US population (45 million). With twice the growth rate of the general population, one quarter of the population is predicted to be Latino by 2025. Does the increase of heterogeneous mix lead us to be more tolerable or intolerable? From my own observation, being Hispanic myself (Cuban, in fact), I predict a warmer America in its acceptance of diverse people and their differences. Representations of Hispanics in mainstream culture has become more and more popular in our media. A trend of “Latino revival” has taken way amongst Hollywood celebrity types and other generation Latinos who now feel free to identify with being Hispanic. Much of American culture is becoming influenced with Hispanic artists and moguls as well as politicians, lets not forget about the controversial Sotomayor. Although there is no doubt that the stereotype of Hispanics as gardeners and maids still exists; just as much as it does for Asians as math and piano geniuses. The Hispanic market and general market are becoming more integrated and less distinct. However, the traditional culture amongst Hispanic families compared to the increase of individuality and materialism in American society are very different. For young Hispanics, women especially, the tension between traditional family values to their acculturation of America creates a large disconnect probing depression. According to a survey conducted in 2007 by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention of high-school students, one out of every seven Hispanic teens have attempted suicide, more than any other racial group. Conflicting issues of tradition, education, family oriented values and lifestyle, religious backgrounds, and American individuality result in the divide. Either the Hispanic population will learn to become more American, or America will become more Hispanic. The emergence of a culture that is patriarchal and anti-feminist, will only result in a digression for American progress. However, the emergence of a culture that is family oriented and that obtains strong community values, would be something our increasingly divided country could benefit from. The new generation of Hispanics must learn how to bridge the gap between home and their American lifestyle, while retaining and contributing key positive cultural elements to American society.

Responsibility Chapter: Help is given to those who help themselves

[God] grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Of course, I have not justified America by simply outlining a couple of groups and issues that are dismissive, subsequently dismissed as non-threatening. I have not justified all aspects of America that may identify with one American or another. But I do want to shine light on those who are under control because they allow that control.
One only dominates to those who allow for that domination. The real threat are not those who are in control, but rather those who submit themselves to abuse of that control. Trends, culture, beliefs, the arts, can all sweep in from any which direction and change our attitudes. To control those in control is not viable. We can only control ourselves. In our capitalistic society there will always be marketers closely tracking our human behavior and appropriating it as consumer behavior, leaving us weak in our struggle against consumerism. One is to be wary, especially with todays technological advances, where Google has our online search history, Yahoo has our e-mail, Facebook knows our friends, Itunes knows our music preference, Stumble Upon knows our interests. The amount of information that can be used for or against us is incalculable. And this information can be easily sold to the hands of the right or wrong people. Regardless, I personally think (and I will say what I personally think, because I have freedom of speech) that it is safe to say that the government and media have, of course, used this form of information to sway and manipulate our opinions and feelings. But to act cowardly against it and allow it to happen may perpetuate government's unnecessary and contrived omnipotent disposition in our lives.
If I had some words for this quiescent group I'd say: Be confident in yourself to assume the courage to take on these bombarding forces. Do not silence yourself by stuffing proctor and gamble in your mouths. Do not feed into their ways. Be confident in your social position to make responsible decisions and evoke responsible change. The more you aspire to be rich, the more the rich abuse you.
The point is, the only real threat lies within the apathetic submissive attitude America is beginning to face. The lack of awareness of diversity, divide, and loss of unity will be what prevents any social reform from evolving. And this apathetic attitude is prevalent. No progress, no tomorrow, no post modern post anything can fully take swing unless something is done.

You Chapter: You can afford to read this.

"With great power, comes great responsibility" - Spiderman.

The future's progress relies on those who are ready to move forward and advance in the right direction. The age of responsibility is on its way, but it must be lead by those who are educated, open minded, passionate and privileged. Yes, privileged. Let us stop pretending that those in the middle class are as equally able to reach the American standard of success, as those in the upper class. Instead of further exploit, neglect, and concern themselves with the attainment of the superfluous more, those who are privileged need to take responsibility.
Those who are regarded as leaders, as being lucky, bright, or set need to redefine success, redefine the norm, redefine what is “cool.” Reconsider what we know as American ideals, and reconsider the real effects it has on our resources and our people. Those post modern post whatever Americans, who filter and control their intake of everything; who look at a situation for its problem not judgement and are concerned about the nature of their own human nature; who are educated and well read; whose blogs have no face; who acknowledge more than arts within a culture; those Americans who feel overwhelmed by our rapidly growing and changing society; devoid of all meaning in life. This group may reach the point of feeling hopeless and useless in their mental and subconscious exhaustion. This group of Americans are critical, bewildered and anxious from the amount of exposure of one extreme idea to the next counter radical idea, from one consumer driven society to war torn developing countries, from Switzerland outlawing minarets to those following Stephanie Meyer. Finding a balance becomes a mental struggle.
This group must not succumb to the nihilistic attitudes and behavior their surrounding circumstances yield of them. Although their personal enlightenment may lead to the kind of depression one acquires after reading Freud's Future of an Illusion, there is hope from it as it can lead to the enlightenment of others. This is the group of awareness. This group knows, and it is for this group as leaders that the other groups can be recognized to eventually strive. Alone; if the world was solely left to to this group and their pessimistic outlook, we would all become existential melodramatic hipsters. But if their knowledge is used for the advancement and progress of the problems that jade and desensitize their hearts, then tomorrow might be a pretty hopeful day in America.
As Freud did say in that dreaded page turner, Future of an Illusion, “For masses are lazy and unintelligent.... It is only through the influence of individuals who can set an example and whom masses recognize as their leaders that they can be induced to perform the work and undergo the renunciations on which the existence of civilization depends.”

Call to Action Chapter: America, Take Off Your Snuggie!

Prominent social reformer Saul Alinsky believes “People must be 'reformed'- so they cannot be deformed into dependency and driven through desperation to dictatorship and the death of freedom.”
The 'silent majority' must be activated; action and articulation are one, as are silence and surrender” and in order to be heard and reached they must “seek out allies.”

We are living in fickle times where people may become vulnerable to what may seem like life saving revolutionary ideas (not now socialism, down Dianetics, no thank you Charles Manson revival). Desperation becomes the atmosphere dangerous gangs, cults, and far too radical ideas manifest . Ideas that tend to appeal to the silenced and ignored Americans. Those blinded and affected by oppression need guidance in reaching civil equality.

You have nothing to rebel against; your life is made? Be your neighbors ally. Become a voice for the others. Social networking awaits its most influential usage yet: an avenue to awaken reform. Communicate change. Be inspired by the arts, inspire the arts. Aspire to be artful.

Do you like America? Me too! (The answer should be yes, you like it so much you want to help it, like you want to help a cute little puppy with self-inflicted bite wounds).

Do you like freedom? Do you have it? If you think you are as free as a butterfly, think again. Because we are not free until we are all free. In America, the potential is striking.

If there is need for a revolution, let it be the proper revolution. What needs protection is not your iPad, what needs changing is not your iPad's protection case. What needs protection is that silenced minority, those “illegal aliens” whose law is not on their side, the socially unfortunate black population, those as abandoned or isolated as Eleanor Rigby. Think humanity to think humanely. Whatever changes may come, how ever internally or globally distraught an enlightenment may render us, we can adapt. From the constant change in fashion, ideal types, music, globalization, technology, Gillette razors, our generation has become a malleable generation. Let us mold for the better.

Advice Chapter: A Side Note to the Movers and Shakers of the Future

Please do not define yourself by money, and please do not define yourself by the denial of money. They are both equally offensive and artificial. Try to bring back poetry. Try to understand. Conserve more, consume less. Do not fear the pharmaceutical companies. Embrace wood and nature, and the nature of the morning wood. Do not abuse neither wood. Do not reprimand all television, but do reprimand all its abuses. And also, yes Ferrero Rochers are in deed orgasmic.

About the Author:
Alexandra Valls is a girl, who would have chose to be a man having known what civilization entails.
Because she cannot change her body, she now must change society.
Very grateful for her being, she can not help but think about her existence and the existence of others.

a TEA PARTY without the crumpets

2010-05-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

Boston, MA April 15, 2010 Tea Party Protest:

Days before the Boston Tea Party Protest I received various Facebook messages from Emerson College students who were trying to gather a group to protest the republicans at the protest. Protesters protesting protestors? I figured maybe I would go and protest those protestors for protesting the protestors, but there would be too much protesting and nothing would be heard- Oh America. I also saw on the local news that a group of avid anti-Tea Party democrats were cooked up in their home for “a week” making pro-Tea Party signs with deliberate misspellings in an effort to attend the protest incognito as republicans and humiliate them for their typical “dumb American” stereotype- real progressive. Curious, I did some research of my own as to what this Neo Tea Party phenomenon was really about. A couple of “illegitimate” Wikipedia articles into my research, I realized the Tea Party movement is essentially what it was during the American Revolution, an anti-tax protest. However instead of fighting against Britain, it is classic America fighting against each other- similar to a boxing match- republicans versus democrats. Instead of “no taxation without representation,” republicans more accurately and actually represented a slogan more along the lines of “no taxation without full republican congressional legislation” or “no taxation with democratic initiation.”

What initiated the new Tea Party movement is classic republican ideals- small government, less “ear mark” spending, anti-stimulus, anti- being taxed, with a libertarian twist of recent democratic action seen as unconstitutional. The American people have had it! Fair enough. And many of the people who were there to protest were not white collar elites asking the government to step out of their business to pursue capitalistic abuses, but regular American people who genuinely felt they were being over taxed and not reaping the benefits. If the Tea Party protest is a make up of those Americans rightfully exercising their freedom of speech and government representation, then what is probing the radical reputation coming from it?

I attended the event and realized it was not a make up of those people. I found myself amongst a heterogeneous crowd of republicans. Some were honest Americans with insufficient funds to send their children to College, others were anti-spending, some were young students fighting for small government and anti-bail-outs. Others were anti-Obama republicans, anti-communist, anti-socialist, and some were Americans who were better off waving a Confederate flag. While others were democrats with anti-war posters, old guys with long white hair- not sure what they were there for- but I appreciated their Willie Nelson-esque presence, one guy was advocating the legalization of Marijuana- he received my thumbs up. And lastly some were those Emerson kids yelling nonsense at the top of their lungs, drawing attention to themselves as they felt the loud republican representatives owe much of their popularity to.

In regards to the latter crowd’s point, perhaps that is the problem. The people that stood out the most were not those sincerely affected by taxes, but those ill-informed ignoramuses whose opinions were one sided and obnoxious. And their presence was only perpetuated by the speaker who I had the dishonor of listening to- no not Sarah Palin ( I missed her speech sadly), but a lady whose name I cannot find on the internet, probably because she was an embarrassment even to Fox news and all other right winged media outlets. Basically, she compared America today to communist Cuba, proclaiming she knew about communism because she was raised in Miami. She claimed Obama has communist advisors who are planning to promote socialist ideas with the intentions of communist results. Compared Obama to Castro and told an anecdote about Castro stealing candy from the hands of children as Obama does to republicans. Being Cuban-American from Miami, this irked me the most. Aside from being the most personally unappealing and loudly obnoxious person I have ever witnesses, what truly bothered me was her confidence in misinforming and rallying up republicans on false pretenses. Her radical view point, is not a true reflection of the point of the new Tea Party movement; it is more a reflection of one of the many problems with the Republican party today- shitty people publicaly associated with it.

Also there were various tents selling “I love Fox News” t-shirts. Heh.

some charlie kaufman, why not

2010-05-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

A Praising Critique of Charlie Kaufman's Hope Leaves the Theater:

I love this quote by Aldous Huxley, “after silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music,” however Mr. Huxley did not have the privilege of hearing Charlie Kaufman's Hope Leaves the Theater. What usually would be kept silent is expressed in a funny and clever stream of consciousness. Kaufman does an excellent job in capturing the consciousness and inadvertent thoughts that typically are not verbalized. His style of writing is so natural. It is raw and real.
And when describing and elaborating on the everyday nuances and mishaps of his character Louise, it is almost frightening to know that Kaufman was not a female himself. Louise epitomized Louise. Her mind is naked and everything she does is true to herself. As the play's protagonist, she is stripped away from the freedom one has to think whatever God awful thoughts in their mind. Every reaction and mindful observation is slightly hilarious and honest to herself. One truly gets the sense of the type of person Louise is five minutes into the play.
Louise as a character is really quite pathetic. And as I reader I feel really quite pathetic for sympathizing with her so much. I feel strangely connected to her. Her actions make so much sense when knowing what in her mind catalyzes them. She like many women, like many people, has many insecurities and feeling of inadequacy which cross her mind frequently. She is a victim of herself. She for the most part, brings on her own tragedy. I feel Kaufman had that same problem in his life. She pities herself, and does nothing to change it. Louise is strange, but the audience only knows this because the audience almost becomes Louise, as her stream of consciousness takes over your own. Her downfall is internet sex with a stranger whom she calls Frank and seems to be madly turned on by him in the most superficial and post modern affair. What ex pop singers Nsync, would call “digital get down.”
I am jealous Kaufman is able to master capturing the frivolous, the prejudices, the emotional, the intentional and subconscious thoughts within the mind. And by capturing them from their origins to the point of their physical delivery, in what seem to be Louis' awkward demeanor. She is not the coolest of cool, but at least we know why. In the bus scene she wishes if only someone could “check her ass out,” but at least we now why. She thinks about her past and observes an attractive young couple, secretly bitter about their romance, but at least we know why. She seems rude when her cellphone goes off and she steps on her neighbors foot, but at least we know why.
Kaufman successfully uses many literary styles within this play. He breaks down the fourth wall throughout the play creating multilayered plots and more complex relationships between the characters-- having in-character characters, and out of character characters, which are all still characters. Meryl Streap initiates the break outs while reprimanding an audience member, who is a character, and referring to Kaufman as dead and the writer of their play- slightly confusing. The play would have been better titled, The Entanglements of Reality and My Writing; a play by Charlie Kaufman about a play about Charlie Kaufman. It is directly indirectly about him. The various plots are well thought out and left tightly packaged into one overarching plot rendering all minor plots and tangents to be uncanny and relevant. It is an interesting way to look at a situation and make meaning in the most meaningless way. The story comes full circle from what seems to be just a number of coincidences tying together. Why the Rolling Stones writer got to critique a play about his daughter written by Charlie Kaufman the day of the writers death in 1997, is beyond me. What is the connection between it all? Besides the obvious connection, I don't know. But it makes for the most unconventional happy ending, considering it was Kaufman's farewell piece. Rather than pondering the ambiguity of death he reminices about life in a lightfully monotomous manner.
Kaufman breaks down the wall, not only between his audience and his characters, but also between his characters and himself and himself and his audience. There are no boundaries. He writes about himself throughout the play in an almost nonchalantly chilling manner, referencing his suicide that was to follow at least twice. It is intriguing and entertaining in a sort of satirical and ironic way. As if his death was merely an inevitable side effect of brilliant writing. No big deal right? After reading about his biography and reasons as to why he was keen on killing himself, it makes for a sort of cliché ending to an artists life and art. However, because he writes about it in Hope Leaves the Theater so casually, it makes the cliché seem understandable and real to him.
At the end of the play Kaufman praises his own deep gifted soul through the British character- very clever. If only we were all able to praise ourselves for all our many talents after death. I would have so many wise things to say about wise me. When the British siblings elaborate on their feelings regarding Kaufman and the play, they are spot on in analyzing it. It seemed as if Kaufman knew exactly what he was doing and where he was going with it. Going in an delightfully unforgiving circle. His character of The Rolling Stone writer says “[Kaufman] even going as far as to...place a fictitious critic in a fictitious audience, within a fictitious play, and have the whole messy affair end with his fictitious review. Its a play within a play within an a I get it Mr. Kaufman.” And “cleverness for the sake of cleverness. A facade and nothing more.” One can really go so far as to reflect on the music and song at the end of the play: “Fuck my pathetic dreams. Fuck my pain and suffering. Fuck my delusions of candor.” Nothing is left untouched or hanging, except for maybe Kaufman himself. The song ends with “For brains and blood” x5.
The literary technique I have chosen to focus on in this paper has been all of the above. There is not just one technique of writing established in the play. There is only one rule; there are no rules. Charlie Kaufman is boldly entertaining in his audacious strive to conquer the real. The truth, or what can be seen as the honest sincerity of a character, is found by a shared perception of that character as oneself. The conscious of one individual character becomes the audiences collective conscious. Casually raw and almost offensive to oneself. The play's flow is complicated and connected. Up down, back front, side side, left right. Meaningless; with proper rationalization that leads to the realization of a lack of real reason. The last statement may not make sense to you, but that no sense is what makes sense to me. How very Kaufman of me. I feel the play's flow is what Kaufman took away from life. Like a complementing contradiction, it is bizarrely all relatively relative. I truly enjoyed Hope Leaves the Theater.

Consider America's Future

2010-01-11T12:07:00.000-08:00

Preface:
December 19, 2009 Alexandra Valls was faced with a difficult decision. It was a lonely Thursday night accompanied by the draft of a broken window, the glow of freshly hung Christmas lights and the deliciously lazy dinner of 7/11 snacks. This Thursday Alex would skip out on any youthful regrettable college outings. As rumor has it, her English final is the next day.
Previous to this romantic little circumstance, Alex went to purchase the one book she had yet to read. At Borders she spent 20 minutes deciding on which version of Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka she would buy. She finally settled on a copy not by the name of Metamorphosis, but by the name of Transformation. This unique little detail delighted her.
So, that night, on December 19 2009, Alex read Transformation by Franz Kafka, where she cried as a result of the tragedy of poor Gregory. But thats besides the point, she realized something while submitting her weeks tired brain to cable-- she had her magazine submission and English final essay due on the same day, Monday, a couple of days from then. The girl never knows what she has going on. She scurried to her bedroom to look for the exact description of both submissions, when to her glorious dismay she magically, very magically, actually found the paper that would describe her English assignment. Her eyes lit up at the sight of lucky number three. Warm relief calmed her flustered self as she thought....

Oh baby oh baby oh baby, (suddenly religious) Thank you Christ our Lord. Option number three: write your own Mutant Novella; the best option ever, especially when the professor assigns you David Foster Wallace “Consider the Lobster” as your first read of a course titled “Mutant Novellas.” A class about books like "Animorphs"; the books the weird and nerdy kids would buy at the book fair (could've been me). The cooler kids bought the posters and book marks for flinging at those nerdy kids (could've been me too). All kidding aside, the title is misleading. Here is my Mutant Novella. Its not so much a developing story, but more of a developing thought complied of various tangents that lead to my final developed , yet naturally ever developing thought. A true story? The truest. Practically unfiltered from my reality that is my brain. How is this a novella? Well, its the story of today and its development for tomorrow. Please, feel free to pity the erroneous subject matter that floods my mind on an hourly basis.'

Thursday, December 17, 2009:
I am currently watching television at 2:08 AM on a Thursday night, slothfully reducing myself to that cheap infomercial crowd, which goes well with my Tostitos and “con queso” breath. But I have not yet even bothered to change the channel because, well because the writer of Chicken Soup for the Soul is promoting his compadre's book: Advertising Profits From Home by Anthony Morrison, followed by The Hidden Millionaire, “how your inner wealth can become out outer wealth.”
The writer of Chicken Soup for the Soul is promoting Anthony Morrison. Thats really nice, thank you. I will now set my Chicken Soup for Teenagers on fire, and render my ideology to my new found goals and aspirations of one simple idea that is quick, get rich! Because as we all know, a diamond is forever. But how will I make this money? I refuse to buy into some self-proclaimed millionaire's philosophy, so Il just fabricate my own. First, I will pawn my soul for money in the same shop Bernie Madoff sold his. I probably wont get as much money for it as I will in other pawn shops, but I am willing to cheapen my worth knowing I got the same money from the same place as Madoff himself. I wont invest it in some pyramid ponzi scheme, which at first seems brilliant. Everyone keeps getting richer, does it even matter where the money is coming from? No. As the cheeky writer that I am (my Facebook statuses and tweets r off da chain yo), I will write my own book on the foreseen successes of that book, entitled How to Get Rich Quick by Writing a Book on How to Get Rich Quick . After selling myself to nothingness and making a profit on a book about nothingness, I may feel empty. But because I am now quickly rich, I will show I am quickly rich and I will feel quickly rich. I will buy whatever I want and satisfaction oh satisfaction will fill my soul with unnatural designer bags and wrinkle removing ointments. I do not feel too good. I should write another book about investing your new wealth to the reinvestment of more wealth. This time I will divide it into three easy steps in a DVD, therefore all self-chosen illiterate Americans also have a chance of becoming wealthy. As Americans, they too deserve to be rich. I see how Rosetta Stone has marketed itself, thus naturally the second book, which relies on the accoutrement of the first book, will be twice the price for the consumer. And as for me, four times the profit, due to a cheaper publisher who outsources their labour from India and paper and DVD from China.
“Money please, money please, soul please” -The New Radicals. But, umm whoops, I just sold my soul for the money, now what? Conveniently, I have now become a slave to the money... then I will die, as predicted by The Verve. But my death depends on the type of health insurance coverage I have, of course. If all else fails, do you think Medicaid and Obama's new health plan will cover idiocy and priorities lost-syndrome? I mean I think that was the point of it, right?
Is this where America is heading? Money hungry citizens? I was hanging out with my neighbor and his friends who are either Boston College graduates or wannabe yuppies. One friend was shamefully speaking of his sister's college studies and life endeavors thereafter. The way these guys laughed you would think she had chosen to be a stripper. But no, she was studying the respected field of photojournalism. They thought 'what a waste of time, there is no money in that.' Then I realized, to them, becoming a stripper, despite the drop in dignity, is return on investment wise, a good solid future. I am not referring to white trash, ill- informed, ill-treated, ill- feed, and ill-conceived Americans. These guys are, if not already successful, going to be successful. Finance, Business, Hospital Management, Hotel Management, and all these other majors basically synonymous to money management, will lead them to their bright futures illuminated by dollar signs and trophy wives they are yet to meet, because why would any women want them now, all moneyless? I sat there, smoking their pot, listening, observing and thinking 'what did your parents teach you?' However, I know the answer. They have been taught the thought of money and money is success. Their mindset of viewing life in terms of profit is better referred to by Karl Marx in The Communist Manifesto, as “egoistic calculation.” These guys are a vehicle to which consumerism and coerced capitalism breeds off. Yet, they are the same guys who will be in charge of the breeding. In other words, they are vehicles maneuvering vehicles. Very similar to a tow boat pulling in a freight ship. Crap, those freight ships are significantly larger, and the oil spillage is detrimental to our environment. I can talk to them, tell them to read Stuart Ewen's All Consuming Images, or underlay the argument of the book subtlety making them feel like fools who've been fooled. But they are far too individualistic to care about the larger issue of consumerism, modern industry, the exploitation of workers world-wide, the exploitation of consumers nation-wide, and the meaningless value in the value of money. Plus, why would they read that when they can be reading my get rich quick book (order now and get a second free “recession proof” copy!) According to Ewen, their lifestyle is a product of their society which creates “American nervousness.” The expectations and pressures to succeed haunts their delicious dreams as opportunity surrounds them in America. Their indifference to the meaning of the system they intend to advance in is narcissistically, not surprising. They yield the similar attitude of those who hear about Darfur, and think “What does that have to do with me?” To their point, nothing really, besides the fact that we are all human beings and share this world together. What if I said we were all born in the image of God, and we are all brothers and sisters regardless of differences? Well, these post modern day individualist know that religion is for the poor and dying.
If capitalism continues to be our leader, then I guess it wont matter that my Chicken Soup for the Soul has now been turned to ashes. I'm depressed thinking about the outcomes of a society empowered by that frame of thought, oh wait a minute, we are the living outcome of a society empowered by that frame of thought. And the obscene displacement of money and entangled loss of values seems to perpetuate amongst the collectively uncollective majority. The United States has made their capita by individualist perseverance. I think therefore I am...able to make money! The United States welcomes all those who are willing to put aside their family, friends and passions and replace it with materialism and the freedom to attain that materialism. And then, it wont matter what our friends and family think of us, because then we will be rich and everyone will be happy. CNN informant and contributing writer of Newsweek, Fareed Zakaria firmly believes America's current “downfall” has more to due with the downfall of ethics and moral code. Which subsequently, leads to the rise of dirty business and dirty business with dirty politicians ( no sexual pun intended, but yes that too) then shaking hands with dirty communist. Alright, so maybe he did not exactly verbalize those thoughts as such, because good politicians also shake hands with dirty communist. I respect the field of politics, but I cannot say I believe in it. I am depressed thinking about the outcomes of a world empowered by politicians with personal agendas, oh wait a minute, we are the outcome of a world empowered by politicians with personal agendas. Of which, is coerced by the personal attainment of power through business for politics and politics for business. I do not want to believe that because America has economically collapsed, everything else has collapsed as well.
I would like to believe we live in a country with a secular government from the religion of money we seem to all follow. However, everything I have ever truly believed has proven to be a social construct put in place to keep us submissively active and tolerable citizens. I guess that is fair? Perhaps to those who acknowledge the potential control our government and big business have in our lives and decision making, or lack there of. For example, not everyone is quick to realize the brainwashing implications that exist in believing in Santa Clause. When I found out about Santa Clause, at the embarrassing age of 8, I said to myself, 'well then there is no way Jesus exist either.' And just like that, both my belief in Santa as the children's leading authority of consumerism, brought to this earth by Jesus as the leading authority of goodness, to impose and then reward my socially standard idea of goodness in a wrapped box of mass produced toys, made especially for me by several young and severely oppressed strangers with the help of massive machines causing massive pollution, was over. Eleven years later I find myself awkwardly standing out amongst a crowd of Business students, but seemingly getting by in designer clothes handed down to me by both older and younger siblings. These educated men and I come from similar backgrounds. We have wealthy parents, we received higher education, we have access to connections to have access to more connections we did not have access to before. Yet, we are very different. What have I been doing that has made me this way, or better yet, what have they been exposed to? Within this “norm,” there is diversity. I choose to be that diversity. And there lies my freedom. But for those who are too naïve or apathetic to recognize their predetermined attitudes from the organization and stratification of society, it becomes their entrapment.
These “business” guys, they are not cool. They are not creating, they are not molding. If the world was left to them we would all become China, and would have to rely on the power of outsourcing technologies to find a new America and sell our 'made in earth' goods to those no name creatures from Mars. But we have to keep our labour mad cheap because otherwise they'll start trading with Jupiter, who word in the milky way has it- is not even a real planet anymore, consequently making their material incredibly inexpensive and practically impossible to compete against.
If anything can be taken from this anecdote is that our society is becoming increasingly individualistic, unrealistic and uncaring. Are we overexposed to the harsh realities of the world outside from us, rendering us hopeless in our struggle to change it? Are we desensitized? We choose to live blissfully indulgent on our own pleasures because we think, 'why waste my entire existence trying to save someone else?' I cannot speak for the majority in saying they think this way. But I do know that I have thought this way. I think this way every time I feel lazy. It is true, our world is shaped by our own personal world. However, in our world today with globalization, modern technology and a plethora of forums for communication connecting one corner of the earth to another remote and desolate corner, we no longer lead a closed and private existence. This global community has become our community. It is very frightening. Now the idea of exploitation for our own satisfaction is not acceptable. Now we can see that exploitation had a face all along and to continue contributing to the scrutiny of that sad face, is just wrong. Wrong, remember wrong? It is easy to ignore the problems of Iran, particularly because external media is not allowed coverage of the state, but social networking and technology does not allow for that kind of ignorance. Remember Neda? I do, CNN made a hero out of her. Her death by protesting for her rights was captured by a video camera then uploaded and shared world-wide through Facebook. Americans are not ready for this. As a nation, we can barely bother to acknowledge the violence Chicago's urban youth faces on a day to day basis. We cannot comprehend the struggles of border crossing Mexicans, nor wholly understand the horrors of mafia traps their drug run country faces that leads them to flee their homes for what is known and shown of America. America cannot understand the placed embargo on their ignored and neighboring country, Cuba, to the current partially lifted embargo of Cuba. In case anybody cares to visit a destroyed and communist Cuba, some of us can now fly there directly! And for the most part, our stance on Canada is a laughing joke. Umm yeah guys, jokes on us now a days. The boundaries of our life are ever expanding. But it seems to me that our mental capacity to care to understand or even notice, is still self-limited. Aside from the appropriation of these cultures for their aesthetic value in art (as post modern conglomerate displays of our era), the significance of the cultures and the extended world surrounding us goes unnoticed. If we all chose to open ourselves to the world around us it might lead us to be flabbergasted from a mental displacement that is puzzling and depressing.
I would be generous in giving most Americans the benefit of the doubt to even have considered the option of making the decision to be ignorant. We have been breeding ignoramuses for a while now. And research can attest to this, as ratings for reality television that stimulate our minds solely on shock value relying on disgusting and unnecessary circumstances that are better off left to be photographed by David Lachapelle, are on the rise. What does our television watching say about ourselves? Is it irrelevant or is it effecting us? Well there is that obsession with celebrities, materialism, beauty, transformation, fame, and neomania (to fetish the new) all giving into the aforementioned problem of consumerism- which can also be referred to by machine-like capitalistic warriors as the cure to overproduction; the cure to a running industrial society. Nevertheless, consumerism has taken a low path. How pathetic are we as a nation to sell more tabloids than newspapers.
Our culture is increasingly becoming obsessed with superficiality. Superficiality of our materialism results in superficiality of ourselves. Our hair, our nose, our breasts, our skin, our muscles are even superficial. Because really, why else would I do 500 sit-ups before bed every night, if not for my banging six pack? We are all victims of self-objectification. In our society we believe we are self-made. This lends ourselves to the idea of reformation. The reinvention of me. If celebrities can re-invent themselves, then I can too. This crowd is another vehicle of society. This crowd feeds off the media it intakes and then regurgitates it, giving back a bastardized version of the bastardized reality they see. Obsessed as they are, some are aware of the frivolities of their devote following, while others are blindly submissive to its meaningless cycle. I understand that there is low culture, but this culture is not just tasteless, it is unhealthy and absurd. These people are not cool. These people are neither positively changing or reprioritizing what they value with any moral substance. If the future relied on them, we would all be guest on MTV's “I Want a Famous Face.”
As citizens of a society comprised of far more than just celebrities and brainless distractions, a higher awareness of those other things is expected.

Saturday, December 19 2009
Day two of writing this paper; hangover; realizing it is a Saturday in December, I want warm weather. I have given my brain some rest and took Friday off as I was busy “preparing for the Holidays,” and then went out “celebrating the Holidays.” And now my brain needs more rest that ever. At 3:30 pm I finally got up to shower. Ate some breakfast. Did a lot of cleaning. Went online, looked at photos from last night, indulged in my narcissism. It is now 2:47 AM and I am watching HBO's on demand documentary ( not up to date enough yet to know how to properly utilize the phrase “on demand”) on Heidi Fleiss, “Hollywood Madam.” It is eye opening! Six points on the film in regards to myself. 1.) I, at one point of my life, have decided I will move to the Western Frontier 2.) I genuinely admire Fleiss for jaded and sympathetic reasons. 3.) Whoa these isolated Westerns are surprisingly well spoken, leading me to further confirm the (statistically based) notion that the most uneducated people in America is our black youth population. 4.) I hope I will never become addicted to drugs. 5.) This documentary makes me want to believe in reincarnation 6.) I am so glad I do not believe in reincarnation, “ I am not a religious person, but I do feel I carry the soul of someone who was exterminated in a Nazi prison camp,” -Heidi Fleiss. To add on to point three, CNN informant on US education was recently on Anderson Cooper 360 very seriously addressing the issue of education in the urban cities. The high degree of illiteracy and the lack of verbal skills to communicate effectively is serious cause for concern. Something must to be done. How is it that such an essential skill and part of living in a modern and wealthy country, having access to free public education, results in the staggering statistic of these urban city kids? And then they wonder why the violence breeds. Very differently from our business graduates, their future is grim. They are neither vehicles nor leaders of society. Their oppression and lifestyle is a result of a societal flaw, neither directly intended nor directly apprehended. Good solid leaders are needed. They're influenced by perverse notions of happiness idolizing ideas of American success that lack any substantial value. Hey politicians, hey parents, hey educators, this is not enough. If the rest of our country were to be as neglected as them, anarchy resulting from violence and poverty would be the inevitable demise of our nation. Education reform is necessary.
Lets consider the largest minority, the increasing Hispanics comprising 15% of the US population (45 million). With twice the growth rate of the general population, one quarter of the population is predicted to be Latino by 2025. Does the increase of heterogeneous mix lead us to be more tolerable or intolerable? From my own observation, being Hispanic myself (Cuban, in fact), I predict a warmer America in its acceptance of diverse people and their differences. Representations of Hispanics in mainstream culture has become more and more popular in our media. A trend of “Latino revival” has taken way amongst Hollywood celebrity types and other generation Latinos who now feel free to identify with being Hispanic. Much of American culture is becoming influenced with Hispanic artists and moguls as well as politicians, lets not forget about the controversial Sotomayor. Although there is no doubt that the stereotype of Hispanics as gardeners and maids still exists; just as much as it does for Asians as math and piano geniuses. The Hispanic market and general market are becoming more integrated and less distinct. However, the traditional culture amongst Hispanic families compared to the increase of individuality and materialism in American society are very different. For young Hispanics, women especially, the tension between traditional family values to their acculturation of America creates a large disconnect probing depression. According to a survey conducted in 2007 by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention of high-school students, one out of every seven Hispanic teens have attempted suicide, more than any other racial group. Conflicting issues of tradition, education, family oriented values and lifestyle, religious backgrounds, and American individuality result in the divide. Either the Hispanic population will learn to become more American, or America will become more Hispanic. The emergence of a culture that is patriarchal and anti-feminist, will only result in a digression for American progress. However, the emergence of a culture that is family oriented and that obtains strong community values, would be something our increasingly divided country could benefit from. The new generation of Hispanics must learn how to bridge the gap between home and their American lifestyle, while retaining and contributing key positive cultural elements to American society.
Of course, I have not justified America by simply outlining a couple of groups and issues that could potentially arise if these groups were dismissive, consequently dismissed as non-threatening. The real threat are not those who are in control, but rather those who submit themselves to abuse of that control. Trends, culture, beliefs, the arts, can all sweep in from any which direction and change our attitudes. To control those in control is not viable. We can only control ourselves. In our capitalistic society there will always be marketers closely tracking our human behavior and appropriating it as consumer behavior, leaving us weak in our struggle against consumerism. One is to be wary, especially with todays technological advances, where Google has our online search history, Yahoo has our e-mail, Facebook knows our friends, Itunes knows our music preference, Stumble Upon knows our interests. The amount of information that can be used for or against us is incalculable. And this information can be easily sold to the hands of the right or wrong people. Regardless, I personally think (and I will say what I personally think, because I have freedom of speech) that it is safe to say that the government and media have, of course, used this form of information to sway and manipulate our opinions and feelings. But to act cowardly against it and allow it to happen may perpetuate government's unnecessary and contrived omnipotent disposition in our lives. The point is, the only real threat lies within the apathetic submissive attitude America is beginning to face. The lack of awareness of diversity, divide, and loss of unity will be what prevents any social reform from evolving. And this apathetic attitude is prevalent. No progress, no post modern post anything can fully take swing unless something is done.
The future's progress relies on those who are ready to move forward and advance in the right direction. The age of responsibility is on its way, but it must be lead by those who are educated, open minded, passionate and privileged. Yes, privileged. Let us stop pretending that those in the middle class are as equally able to reach the American standard of success, as those in the upper class. Instead of further exploit, neglect, and concern themselves with the attainment of the superfluous more, those who are privileged need to take responsibility. Those who are regarded as leaders, as being lucky, bright, or set need to redefine success, redefine the norm, redefine what is “cool.” Reconsider what we know as American ideals, and reconsider the real effects it has on our resources and our people.
Those post modern post whatever Americans, who filter and  control their intake of everything; who  look at a situation for its problem not judgement and are concerned  about the nature of their own human nature; who are educated and well read; whose blogs have no face; who acknowledge more than arts within a culture; those Americans who feel overwhelmed by our rapidly growing and changing society; devoid of all meaning in life. This group may reach the point of feeling hopeless and useless in their mental and subconscious exhaustion. This group of Americans are critical,  bewildered and anxious. It is 'American nervousness' from the amount of exposure of one extreme idea to the next counter radical idea, from  one consumer driven society to war torn developing countries, from Switzerland outlawing minarets to those following Stephanie Meyer.  Finding a balance becomes a mental struggle. This group must not succumb to the nihilistic attitudes and behavior their surrounding circumstances yield of them. Although their personal enlightenment may lead to the kind of depression one acquires after reading Freud's Future of an Illusion, there is hope from it as it can lead to the enlightenment of others. This is the group of awareness. This group knows, and it is for this group as leaders that the other groups can be recognized to eventually strive. Alone; if the world was solely left to to this group and their pessimistic outlook, we would all become existential melodramatic hipsters. But if their knowledge is used for the advancement and progress of the problems that jade and desensitize their hearts, then tomorrow might be a pretty hopeful day in America. As Freud did say in that dreaded page turner, Future of an Illusion, “For masses are lazy and unintelligent.... It is only through the influence of individuals who can set an example and whom masses recognize as their leaders that they can be induced to perform the work and undergo the renunciations on which the existence of civilization depends.”
You have nothing to rebel against; your life is made? Become a voice for the others. Social networking awaits its most influential usage yet; an avenue to awaken reform. Communicate change. Be inspired by the arts, or inspire the arts. We are living in fickle times where people may become vulnerable to what seems like life saving revolutionary ideas (not now socialism, down Dianetics, no thank you Charles Manson revival). Desperation becomes the atmosphere dangerous gangs, cults, and far too radical ideas manifest. Those blinded and affected by oppression need guidance in reaching civil equality. If there is need for a revolution, let it be the proper revolution.
Whatever changes may come, how ever internally or globally distraught an enlightenment may render us, we can adapt. From the constant change in fashion, music, globalization, technology, our generation has become a malleable generation. For once, let us mold for the better. And a side note to the movers and shakers of the future: Please do not define yourself by money, and please do not define yourself by the denial of money. They are both equally offensive and artificial. Try to bring back poetry. Embrace wood and nature, and the nature of the morning wood. Do not abuse neither wood. Do not reprimand all television, but do reprimand all its abuses. And also, yes Ferrero Rochers are in deed orgasmic.

to potent poetry and your insides

2009-11-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

trying to bring poetry back.
i would rather prefer it not to lack.
perhaps cut potential artist some slack.
cheap rhyming is cute,
kept short and acute.
reword the words that are considered crap,
because craps at the base of many hindered minds.
put a cork on it. wrap it. cap it. slap it. maybe after, tap it.
these can all be said but no one can act it.

these feelings just linger
and forgetting is of random occurrence.
time will tell, but time is irrelevant as hell.
my time right now, right now and now
does not care for later,
later date; that wanders and waits.
my feelings don't remind me, because my feelings are always binding.
and when behind me, they still are behind me,
they follow and lead.
its not like a piss, that reminds you to piss.
it is an awareness of things of nothing, and so much to think.
like constant wish pending
or multiplying sadness without consenting.
my feelings have no accordance with my records set for ignorance.

the problems of feelings retire in coffins.
so long as i live, i will be secret somber.
and rejection of somber is a sober disgrace.
because the best and worst things eventually fall from or to sweet mellow grace.
i impose the prose.

my feelings arose jumbled together,
a tornado with wild wind driven by spirit.
it is a twist of emotions with the potential for destruction.
but it leaves my body, it leaves for a while, it visits my skin outside and shows it how to feel what it had been feeling for a while.
i can now see what i've been feeling for a while.

for me it lays on my palms and it drips with words from its causation of shame and betrayal.
words to describe feelings that made me turn my face.
and words that describe feelings from turning my face.

this is my soul, it migrates to words.
my body now blank

my spirit now mellow,
my face now unable to gesture a polite and contrived cheery hello.
my canvas of lies, a long labored process;
amounted to nothing, it fell down and sank; temporarily banked.

outside is my face.
my face sees and expresses
as my face struggles to face.
it lies.
it buys into faces from places of people who also lie.
owning so many faces, only seeming to abide.
but when its honest, it cries.
and when it cries my face is inside me.
it sees and it expresses
the truth thats inside me.
see the world, it acts to do.
face the world, it longs to subdue.

reflections in mirrors, scissors, spoons.
reflections in clean windows, dark glasses, large watches and shiny tin spoons.
reflections in places that surprise my attention
of places for reflection that only denies its objection.
an autonomous face; it seeks its own objection: correction; a subject for retention.
a reflection of me, is not a reflection of me.
a reflection of me is a controlled subject to please.

my true face shows when i've lost all control.
rolling down a hill:
a consequence from a stupendous stumble as a consequence from running in thin heels as a
consequence from stupid troubles with no heal.

it is not my honest face that yields me popular embrace.
my most prominent face is not my ominous face.
my ominous face is a sign of bad fate.
when i loose my face; it gets trapped in my mind.
my expressions divulge to those faces of hard pensive minds, my ominous mind.
minds that are exposed to the most treacherous times
times that yield existential denies.

a bizarre and mysterious place my face faces.
i don't blame it from running.
post facing, my pacing increases.
escaping the trace it naturally leaves me.
oh such dirty highs
to be sought for replacing my facing.

if a spirit is made, i am of good spirit.
a superlative for cheerfulness; a deception to my dreary state.
but my spirit is not fake.
my spirit is just highly swayed for my flesh and my skin and my demeanor of all relating things.
my face speaks such things, from my mouth it kisses men who hear such things, and do not listen to such things. for them, my spirit it swayed.
narcissistic or highly linguistic.
whatever it may be, narcissism is all that they care to see.
i would be less narcissistic, if i was more narcissistic; my confidence confides in its own confinement.

when i'm drunk, i let loose and it all leads to accidents.
linguistic narcissistic accidents.
the kind that happen in ones youth after acne
the kind that dent and bruise mostly from mackin.
both my skin and my mind are alive, so alive they're outside me; i am out of my mind.

i feel slightly urging to run.

just urging.

just slightly.
a subtle urge one feels reminded of the human deal.

in living your dying; its my constant spiel.

urge to not run just slightly, but an urge to run verociously so strongly.

away.

this urging feels purging
catharsis catharsis, i've stained my own carcass.
just a stain. away from me.
a purge from my breast,
so deeply embedded with love that attests to those who have deeply embedded my body and bed.
knowledge of truth
knowledge of dead youth
knowledge to disprove any knowledge of good use.

my body knows what my face attempts to encode.
dancing is physical remedy.

and sex sometimes too.
but one must be aware
of the conundrum unfair.
to him, she is outside him.
to her, he is inside her, as always, no matter, indifferent of love and true taste.

dancing is for equals.
it seeks and it gains euphoric momentous embrace.
momentous in time, visually sound for a mime.
perspire of sweet sweat filled with poisonous regret
composed of once hopeful now painful lost bets.

hot oil rain springs from my chest and drenches my inside with comfort and embrace; the pain's poignant edges are smoothed and sadness occurs.

shake it off, shake it off.
it feels better to take it off.

strip down to your soul

that now feels the beauty of remorse in your head,

as all things take its course in your head.

hot oil rain springs from my chest and drenches my inside with comfort and embrace; the pain is not yet gone and sadness occurs.

my tainted innocence has succumbed to hopelessness that renders me in a state of helplessness, subsequently making me bitter,

then hopeless,

then helpless again.

vulnerable has made its way on face. genuinely on my face.

publicly worrisome, and some will worry, some.
an inevitable disease to be fought.
thus help will be sought,

but help wont be caught

behind my face. fake face leaves trace of its supposed succession.
deception deception, i've stained good intentions.

hot oil rain springs from my chest and drenches my inside with comfort and embrace; extrinsic pain is gone; intrinsic me feels wrong. sick song i breath all life 'til death.

attention attention, i've stained my recession, i've stained skin connection to me.

music mind

2009-10-10T15:05:00.000-07:00

this is my blog. my blooog. bloooogggahh. the beat in my head right now is one of my own so i cant tell you to dl it but il try to explain it. its in a black mans voice, a heavy black mans voice. He smoked many cigars and could be BIG, if BIG lived. he is a slow rapper, very smooth. slow beats and music twinkles that feel good to the ear, and after the results of some good smoke in your face, its as if God himself was just created from the years aftermath of one slave's freed baby. I know. it gets better, the background of the song slowly mitigates to a choir of pre-pubrity monks living on hillsides off of Norwegian countries. Okay now it has just slowly transitioned to an actual song. The song is On the Wings by Citay. You must dl it to hear the results of my mind (and listen to it in its entirety). Its nice.

I learned i am predominately an audio learner. however, I don't believe everything I hear (ironic? or not?). So anyway, I wanted to use my audio ability to strengthen my writing and visual ability. Perhaps next time I will paint you a picture. And that's it for today. Thank you for watching, and stay tuned for Conan.

crystallized intelligence?

2009-08-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

I'm on a plane right now. something feels strange. i don't know if its coming from internal or external elements. i wonder what may happen if i die. Ill die faithless. not faithless, i have faith. optimism relies on positive faith. however i am a pessimistic optimist. a skeptical spectator who roots for goodness but it weary of the roots of evil. jaded? perhaps, but effected positively because of it. Perhaps its not a matter of being jaded, but a lack of ignorance. wisdom? not to toot my own horn here, but they say I'm wise. and I'm wise enough to not trust what they say..but its a possibility. and who is they anyway? like in general when people say "they", who is that? the collective majority of a group of people that are never objective and mostly ill informed? or they as in the experts of whatever is relevant to what your saying, like scientist, researchers, scholars and really smart people who are known for being really smart people? despite that tangent, time magazine lays out the increasing and decreasing differences of a brains lifespan. at the age of 40-50ish people have more loose nerve endings that allow for interconnectivity of neurons between parts of the brain that were formerly utilized for specific functions, subsequently allowing the brain to literally make connections. "they" call it crystallized intelligence. more popularly known as WISDOM. and it happens later in life when you reconsider the crappy shit you've done, suffered consequences and then make judgements that seem obvious. fuck, if i would've known then what i know now. anyway, maybe my body is aging faster than everyone elses. or maybe the brains lifespan is relevant to each person- it cannot be generalized as the same aging process. and aging of the brain does not see time as we know it (strange because we only know what our brains know...our brains are smarter than they allow us to know?- conscious vs subconscious), but rather as experiences internally and externally. how far one allows their own mind to wonder. it wouldn't explain alzheimer or natural born geniuses. or would it? as a skeptical spectator, i do not believe that continuum that time magazine published is a solid definite timeline. its just a science theory. an undisputed observation. like the neoclassical theory applied to behavioral science that is largely (if not, wholly) to blame for our economic downfall. they used old theories (hence classical) and applied it to current day (hence neo) to formalize a science behind our economics relying on mechanical equilibrium (newton) to serve as the explanation behind supply and demand. what it failed to consider was qualitative changes within our environment such as social or natural progression or digressions. didn't kant teach us anything about cultural relativism? i read this article published in adbuster ( the journal of the mental environment) titled the slow food revolt by horacio velasco (environmental policy researcher and advocate). jist of article: economy should have not been treated as a machine; but as a changing life, as it is run by humans. it feeds off humans, but is larger than humans due to the various factors beyond our human control that affect it, like the environment. (wisdom: duh). basically humans have to realize biological realities beyond our own lives (such selfish mother fuckers, us humans). i bring this all up because i want to quote something he said almost satirically, because now as wisdom seeps into our little brain, it seems so obvious to us, "if only each moment- in spite of the indifference of classical mechanics to time- brings the living organism closer to its eventual demise." like my brain... it may be further along the brain spectrum based off the many moments I've lived, oppose to the years I've lived. I've experienced a lot of shit (shit as a neutral word without the negative [piece of shit] or positive [the shit/the shit blogger] connotation), but i also haven't experienced a lot of shit. so i don't know. i don't know. but i do know that i don't know (aristotle by avalls)... and that is wisdom. but maybe not? this is just an opinion. and if i were some sort of philosopher scientist i could find some previous theory that is based off another theory, to back me up and call it a theory. the you don't know jack shit about jack shit theory.

okay well, i have nothing else to say to you...yall aint gotta go home, but yall gotta get the hell up out of here.

district 9. the movie.

2009-08-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

i just saw district 9.

i don't watch movies often. but me likes this one.

one of my friends was raging about it. i think their whole viral marketing strategy made it all the more appealing. plus its about aliens! aliens: i believe. i thought it was pretty cool and interesting. at first i was like: wait, this is too fake... are u serious?i had to remind myself it was science fiction. duh. but then it suddenly engages you, and you start feeling very sympathetic towards the characters. the dynamic between man and alien is so complex, you see a lot of struggle and frustration that keeps you questioning and genuinely caring.

humans love power. ultimately they just want to control the aliens. but you cant blame us, really. whats more intimidating than a large alien with futuristic gadgets and what seems to be a savage-like disposition? realistically, if we can bomb entire cities with HUMANS, whats stopping us from killing aliens. talk about "just war." aliens vs man. you've got to, literally, pull out all your guns for that one.

some parts of the movie reminded me of measures taken today to prevent the spread of a pandemic. crazy over the top quarantines. like the book, the hot zone, or the recent pandemic obsession (need i mention the h1n1, which is now the lead influenza in argentina, australia, chile and some other counties). better safe than sorry, right? obviously the movie is supperrr beyondd thattt... it's like a lottt crazzierr, outt thereeee. farr outtt mann ;)

before i could fathom the intentions of both alien and man, my real initial thoughts were that it was racist against black people. am i crazy? well this was my reasoning, they show blacks as the only other humans capable of living with such "uncivilized" monsters, being the prawns (aliens). prawns as such outcasts of society due to their misunderstood and barbaric ways, that they resort to living in ghettos/slums and naturally interact with the black people. Although, the black people use them to their advantage and are capable of successfully communicating with them. and vice versa of the prawns. typical black market scenario. nonetheless, the black people's intentions for the use of the prawns (to suck their blood for alien power) is such a primitive way to achieve that goal. also at the end, because i'm not the sharpest movie watcher ( during burn after reading i came up with crazy-ass conspiracy theories in attempt to understand what the fuck was going... they were all wrong) i realized it takes place in johannesburg, south africa. where people are very segregated and believe white south africans are superior to the blacks, who are levels lower in socioeconomic power. still... perhaps one could make a solid argument in saying that the film can be taken as racist. but perhaps jr, it was done for a solid theory/satirical purpose or statement? i would like to think so. also, perhaps baby jr jr, there is no such thing going on in the film and im the wackest. i have a feeling the latter is the most probable.

overall the movie was very entertaining. intended and achieved.

it also had cool cinematography. there were some interesting visuals and cool scenes. the tech and equipment on the spaceship was like 3-d touch and super awesome; like the iphone on craccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk (crack!). the whole mocumentary feel was not so bad at all.

there was something strange with the protagonist's wife. she was real, but still mad cheesy. too girly for my taste. she seemed out of it. too vunerable and taken advantage of by the government and the wrong humans. i guess its typical female in a classic hero fable. lame. movie is turning out to sound somewhat sexist too...? also for a higher purpose?

im annoying myself right now. at times, i get annoyed with those people who believe everything is sexist and racist and classist. but i cant help just letting my mind wonder about it. wanderlust a la valls. i have nothing else to say to you. go and live happily ever after.

ALSO not having to do with the film...cover of time magazine: exercise does not serve in loosing weight (ironic long paraphrase of actual brief article headline)...so there goes my solution to the munchies.

to blog or not to blog? that is not the question.

2009-08-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

why blog? why blog now? .......... i woke up on wednesday; two days after ending my summer internship, and found no use in my life. so i wondered, like so wanderlust. (tadaaaaa! there it is... the point you reach in a book or movie or an album when the title actually makes sense and its actually relevant in the most obscure way.) so i wrote down what i was thinking that morning, in bed, because i'm sexy like that...

it's the month of august and my summer just lags as some of my friends admittedly become fags and now...i feel like a hag as i've lost my luster and sweet ghetto swag. no care for bronzing my body as it now is daunting me as i sleep. i have horrid nightmares of seventy plus pounds i'm surrounded by obese clowns. why in the summer do i loose my routine in the face of a break, when in reality...i have less at stake? it troubles me so when i have nothing and nowhere to go. i wake up with desire, but then sit up and can't quite conspire a reason to be. instead i lay there thinking unvirtuos things. i'm just playfully me, but unlike a much needed summer breeze... my essence is not fresh. although i must quite confess, i have some loneliness that hasn't been seen because i'm busy ma and pa, i've made a paycheck and all. however times are clever and will catch us all. as fated, we will all become dated wishing we just are sedated. our inevitable limit should not be reduced, to further non restriction of timid and fearful abuse. fully and fruitfully, i shall bear on. but if only my pride could only confide. but liberation does call as the answers... the fall, once u get in theres nothing to win. insatiable beings of long- lasting things. so quickly it may last in bringing the best fucking blast...and then it just goes as humans, we know. forget obsessive calls in answering resisting ever-nerving flaws. so the hell with my unresting aware and so conscious mind...it leaves me no time to guiltlessly wonder about shitty times. so smoking it is, and no more drinking on weeks. i am hungover and pale and feeling unnaturally stale. and what good is living if its not like life, the kind that we felt as kids so alive. what if my services are underestimated? and its actually quite easy and refreshing to some. to dumb ones, iv'e won...especially those who ponder such shit, but are too jaded and depressed because of it. I should share this joy of joyless days...and celebrate the fact that we have no say. so here's to my youth ,of seeking importance but rendering responsibilities out for ignorance. to contradict like a libertarian, as i am so pleased and at ease. and still strive to seek distinction without any fatal convictions. so flaky i go... the mind of a hoe, who wants loose ends satisfaction with the most pleasantly subtle reactions.

..and thats it, i have nothing else to say to you. please exit this way.

a warning put simply

2009-08-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

get into my belly. into my head. enter. me. but dont take it as an open invitaton to enter me. i don't know. i just figured id share with some people the things that go on in my head. i feel like when you put yourself out there in the manner i'm doing right now, you kind of have to have some good shit to say, and i frankly don't. if i did, id be writing a book. which is what i initially wanted to do and actually started doing. but then i had to remind myself of my mediocre writing abilities which was not hard to do. reading draft one of chapter one in a sober mind was all it took to notice the countless errors including the misspelling of simple vocabulary words a second grader can spell backwards and the outstanding misuse of grammar that could be mistaken for the ebonics of a black cuban. no offense to black people. and for the hell of it, no offense to cubans. also chapters two and three had a serious lack of solid content. first i was trying to pass it of as a intended literary choice done to reflect the lack of solid content and meaning in my life. but it really just sucked and like ive heard from many of my writing teachers, it was going nowhere. but then again, im going nowhere. and now im going nowhere with this. im loosing you. come back potential blog reader...read on.

Also, lets remind ourselves that print is now dying, and i feel no need to recesitate with a bull crap book. and i guess i feel like the credentials behind blog writing are a lot looser. thus, leading mindful morons (oxymoron?), like me, to free write on a forum that is judged less. but go ahead, judge me. i dont judge people...out loud. i may secretly and unwillingly stigmatize someone, but i'm human. to err is human, to forgive is divine. and i do forgive...out loud. so let me just say it now, i am divine ;) fine, divine, single without the swine, and i love to drink both red and white wine. i hope nothing i say here will be used against me. i dont want to be accountable for everything i say, sometimes. when the time comes that i offend someone, which will happen (that shits inevitable. i blame the dumb fucks) and they feel the loser need to claim libel, i will simply say no. not guilty. and then what? i win. fuck da po po's. i know people who know people who know some other people that can help me get out of such a mess with the help of some people they know. so get over it. and if u don't like it, don't look. the same thing i tell my little sister when i change in front of her; i warn her. hey listen i'm going to change now, don't look, unless you want to. and then if she looks, her hissy fit reaction from seeing perfect boobs and a godlike body ;) is all her own fault. so basically what i'm saying is that this is a warning. you've been warned- do not get offended.... you suck, your disgusting and i saw you the other night cheating on your other half with a whorish looking lover. you guys were all over each other, when all of a sudden i saw you pull out a gun and shoot an innocent waiter, then you got into a suspicious looking van and drove off, but left your mistress who turned out to be a prostitute and a transvestite in the bar. the van was carrying loads of cocaine and money which were all brought in by your business partner who really is the worlds most wanted drug mule. your product is usually laced with all sorts of methamphetamines and hallucinogens subsequently causing your biggest clients, wall street executives, to make poor decision leading to the economic downfall of the united states of whatever and all other countries ever involved in globalization. you also had part in the bernie madoff scandal and while stealing your own cousins money you were using steroids and had an unfair advantage when playing basket ball with your boys, who are all closeted homosexuals that gang bang regularly after church on sundays. and you just farted....in bed.

that was just a test. i hope u passed. theres really no way of telling. so il just let you off with a B. i have nothing else to say to you. class dismissed.